My name is Cammie. I am a survivor of multiple date rape events. I suffer from flashbacks and have been diagnosed with PTSD and am in therapy.

Of course, by the time I started remembering what happened to me, and I started claiming I was raped, people thought I was crazy. I think that if anyone deserves the right to be crazy, it's me.

I was searching the internet looking for someone like me, I feel so all alone. I am also interested in a method of detection for my beautiful daughters.

4.5 years ago I was 22yrs old and getting ready for a night out with friends, I had worked hard all week and had new clothes and was looking forward to a girly night out.

Me and my girlfriend shared a bottle of wine at the house before we went out, her friends and some mutual friends were also at the house and decided to come along out with us.

After leaving the house that night we stopped off for some reason at our friends friends house. Our friend that knew this guy was very sensible and trustworthy, we had a joint of which I have always been fine with a bit of cannabis. I am an intelligent girl and definitely not a no hope druggy.

After that we all got back in the car and headed for town, I can remember anything from then on and know my personal limit of a few glasses of wine and a spliff does not affect me like that in way way shape or form.

That night my very irresponsible friend left me as she thought the guy 'looking after me' was to be trusted to take me home.

I was gone all night and lost hours, I can only piece together fragments of the night and don't know how one thing led to another, I know my body and immediately knew it was drink spiking as this has never happened before with all these flash backs.

When I started getting the flash backs 2-3 days later it was too late for them to be detected in my system, I had various tests and can not believe they did not offer me a rape test kit, I was so shaken and away from my home country and did not tell my family, I did not know rape kits even existed

I told the police and the man was rude and told me basically not to bother making a statement.

I am sure I was raped by who I do not know.

Before this I was such a trusting happy care free girl with a love for life, afterwards I wanted to chuck myself off the nearest highrise, I don't know what stopped me but for months the only thought calming me down was the thought of suicide to escape these stomach churning flash backs.

Also as I could not remember the whole night I have spent an enormous amount of energy in my own world trying to piece things together and make sense of it all.

I have always been self sufficient and in work but I had a nervous breakdown and fell in debt and wasted what's supposed to be the best years of ones life.

I look at 22 year olds and think how young and innocent they are and felt like a big part of who I am was ripped away from me, my pride my dignity my self worth I hate the feeling sometimes of my own private parts.

I have good days now but this will always remain, I think sick sick sons of obviously bad women need to be force read some of these stories as their own torture.

As everyone affected by drug rape and rape knows rape can last a few minuets but the aftermath lasts a lifetime and has a rippling affect to everyone close to them.

I hope heaven and hell after this life really does exist. Where will they escape to then??

AND TO ALL THE SURVIVORS OUT THERE .....
IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT
YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING TO PROVOKE IT
YOU STILL ARE YOURSELF AND NOT ROBBED OF DIGNITY
YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS
IN THE END THE GOOD GUY ALWAYS WINS
YOU DO NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE AND LOTS!!

On the bright side I do try to pick myself up, I have put myself through college and a new job in dentistry sector which I felt made the world of difference.

I remind myself everyday it is hard work to be positive in such a sick world but it is also hard work to be negative the big difference is that positivity helps in leaps and bounds and you start to feel good about yourself again.

Like a brick wall can be knocked down, piece by piece you can build it back up.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND TO HELL WITH THE SICK PERPERTRATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flashbacks came many years after the fact - my own husband of 12 years had been spiking the family juice pitcher with sedatives on a regular basis for at least the last 5 of those years. I also received something that was a date rape drug, a few times which completely immobilized my body. He invited friends over to use me while he watched.

I had no memory of this for many years, until flashbacks and I thought I was crazy. Then I met up with one of the men who was at my home in the middle of the night and told him I knew he was there and why didn't he stop it or help me. He had tears in his eyes and told me he was sorry. That was when I knew without a doubt.

To them it was fun and games. It ruined my health at a young age with jaundice and anemia. Even then, having no idea it was happening, I knew something was wrong and questioned my husband. At that point he denied any wrong doing and suddenly filed divorce. My life and health improved dramatically after that and I do believe getting him away from us saved our lives.

As I recall, there was one night I had gone to a business party and had a few sips of wine. It affected me so terribly that I was accused of being drunk. I was not even a drinker so I know there was something else in my system for that to occur.

At any rate, I guess the point here is even someone you think you know can do such a thing with ill intent. In my case, I was so proud of the fact I had never done drugs, yet here was my "perfect" husband spiking my orange juice laughing at the horrible effects he caused, and bragging about the things he could get away with. I never felt like a "victim" but it sure did open my eyes to what a person will do for power and control. And being betrayed by one you love.

Thanks so much for this forum. I just had an awful experience this past weekend, and found your site while trying to learn more about drink spiking.

I'm 47, married for 27 years to a wonderful husband, and just celebrated my husband's and  daughter's birthdays with a trip to Las Vegas. On our last night there, we went to a rooftop club overlooking the city. Daughter and her friends were off taking pictures and my husband and I were enjoying the view. I was sitting down on a large "cube" type bench and had my drink on the ledge next to me. I was totally sober, as it was my first drink of the evening. The nightclub started getting crowded and a man sat down with his back to mine on the bench. He was with other people and was having a rather animated conversation, jostling and bumping up against my back. Annoyed, I tapped him on the shoulder and said "since we're neighbors I might as well introduce myself and shook his hand."  (Really bad idea in retrospect.)  Apparently this angered the woman he was with. I ignored them and waited for my husband to return. I did not have my eyes on my drink while it was on the ledge, and took a few more sips of it while I waited.

Minutes later, my husband returned from the bar, and our group was ready to go in to dance. I stood up. My legs immediately went out from under me and the whole place started going dark. We were totally confused as to what was going on. My daughter and her friends thought I had too much to drink, but that was impossible. Fortunately, my husband was able to drag me to the elevator, through the casino, and the long walk back to our hotel room, where I collapsed on the floor. The next morning we put 2 and 2 together and reported the incident to security.

Suffering only bruised legs (from falling) and a massive headache, I feel extremely fortunate. I am so glad that I was with my husband and that he got me out of the club so quickly. Who knows what those criminals had in mind?  I am grateful that my daughter saw first-hand how quickly it can happen, and she now knows to warn all of her friends as well.

Last week a friend of mine invited me over to a party.  He was a man that I had dated previously, but had not seen in quite some time.  When I got there Billy gave me a drink he had already made for me.  I remember talking to him and one of his friends.  After about 20 minutes his friend left and Billy said he had to go upstairs for a minute.  Then it hit me like sledge hammer, I was SO sleepy.  Alls I could think was that I needed to lie down and now. (This was completely out of character for me.)

The funny part is that I don’t remember where I went or what I did after that moment.  Billy woke me up the next day and it was already in the afternoon.  I was in his bed.  He was acting completely normal and fine, which only made me feel more confused.  I had no skirt or underwear on.  I didn’t know what to think or do.  So, I made a hasty exit.  When I got home and looked in my mirror I had a bruise on the side of my neck, it looked like two fingers.  But I don’t remember anything. I went home and slept for hours.  My legs ached, my underwear was bloody, and my bottom still really hurts.  How could I end up in a man’s bed and not know how I got there?  How does GHB work?

There are bruises and scratches on my body and genitalia, but how could I have been raped if I don’t remember anything.  Why would anyone want to rape me?  Seriously, I am a 39 year old mother with three girls. Who would believe my story?

Hi Sharon,

Earlier in the year I met a man at a singles event.  We hit it off and we went out off and on.  I stopped seeing him for awhile and then one night he invited me over to go swimming.  When I got to his pool he was on his way out of the house with two drinks in his hand.  He handed one to me and he jumped in the pool.

I remember talking to him for 10-20 minutes while I sipped my drink on the deck.  The next thing I remember is waking up naked in his bed the next morning!  I do not remember getting into the house, removing my clothes, or having sex.  I have this vague memory of him peeing on me.  Do you think I could have been drugged and date raped?  Has stuff like this happened to other people before?

Thanks for listening.

We suspect that my wife, even while she was holding her drink, had it spiked with GHB. She's not a heavy drinker and two long islands over the course of about four hours should not have resulted in the lasting reaction she's experiencing.

Nearly two hours after her last drink it appeared that she had continued drinking, but I can assure you she didn't.

Suspecting a drug we looked up what might have happened to her we ran into a web page that discussed the potential side effects of being drugged by various "date rape" drugs and GHB or something very similar was clearly the culprit.

About three hours after her last drink she became extremely nauseated, vomiting on and off until 18 hours later. She felt fine until bedtime the next night and now she's nauseated again.

She has no memory of events from about 15 minutes from returning to the dance floor with her second drink until about two and one half hours later when she is amazed at what time it is as she gets into the car. Another 30 minutes is when the nausea started.

It was during the trip home where she kept repeating that she doesn't know why just two drinks have affected her so badly and we begin suspecting.

She was able to place certain pieces of her limited memory regarding last night together and has some suspects. No one we know but there were guys who were dancing around us in the moments leading up to the memory loss. She suspects that they targeted her and then hung around to see how attached she was to me. Had I left her there alone we believe she would have been assaulted. She was assaulted but even more severely. I ultimately left only long enough a couple of hours later to bring the car as close to the club as I could so she didn't have a far to walk.

My freshman year of college, I was at a huge theatre conference in Iowa. I went with a bunch of my friends (theatre majors like myself), and the plan was to watch a lot of amazing shows during the day and drink a lot at night.

The first night, we all got pretty hammered, but the second night is the night I'll never forget and never truly remember. At the hotel where everyone from the conference was staying, we kept our doors open and went room to room hanging out with people and drinking. I remember having half a glass of captain and pepsi. I suddenly felt really groggy and figured it was probably from getting up early that morning.

I told my friends I was going to bed, and Nissa walked me back to our room, gave me a glass of water (because apparently I looked drunk), and put me to bed. I woke up sometime during the night with my friend Matt, naked on top of me about to have sex with me. I was naked from the waste down and didn't how how it happened.

I didn't know if I took them out myself, if I woke up and went back to the party and ended up going back to my room with Matt, or what. All I knew was I kept saying "no" and he kept trying. I couldn't keep my eyes open, and I couldn't move my body. Everything felt like lead, my vision was blury, and my head was spinning. It took everything I had to push him away. He stopped trying to get in me and sat back. My eyes were closed but I kept telling him to get out and go back to the party. I rolled over and fell back asleep.

I assume he left after his failed attempt. I just wish I could remember what happened that night. Did I make advances towards him? Did I just black out? Was it something more? I heard that roofies were going around a little bit at the conference, but I'm not the kind of person that happens to. I know that's cliche, but it just seems so impossible at my mind. This all happened four years ago now, but I can't get it out of my head...

I have no idea what drug I could have even been given. Does anyone have thoughts? I just want some kind of closure. That night I really did get lucky. It could have been a complete stranger on top of me, and he could have not given up.

I know I got lucky.

I am 17, I like to go out and party...ALOT...my mom bought me this book because she was worried about me I just finished it about 5 mins ago and it touched me so much.

I was never afraid about anything happening to me cuz i always thought it would never happen to me...it did...i now realize that it was not my fault i still party alot but i no longer leave anything of mine unattended and i do not take anything from anyone.

I wanted to thank Sharon for being brave enough to come forward and do something about her predicament she truley is brave! Thank you Sharon Jackson for your insight. I have now began my road to recovery after i started your book. after finishing it i feel refreshed and like I am not alone. it has helped tremendously! thanx! I can get on with my life now!

Hi Sharon,

In 2001 I was ganged raped at work and I continued to go to work day after day, I don't understand why and I didn't remember for a long time. I ended up leaving my husband and two kids for one of the guys who was raping me (can you tell me is that normal for somebody who gets drugged over and over to just leave her life for one of the persons who was raping her??)

I was being raped & ganged raped after I had left my family so this drug he was giving me was in my body for a long time. I have lots of scattered memory's, lots of flash backs and worse of all the man I love so much questions me & ask questions about what happened. He believes me but he doesn't understand some things. My pain within me is so enormous that when he ask me questions I get very upset and yell at him. I have found myself not being able to communicate about much of anything that hurts me.

These people have ruined my life for almost 10yrs now and I'm so so tired of it. I self medicate everyday with meth. I use to inject myself as well when I was being raped they made me a heroin addict & I didn't even know for yrs. So after getting away from them I stated to inject myself with meth.

Today I don't inject myself. Thank God but I do smoke it. Can you please give me some info on getting free help not only for drugs but for trauma also. Also help for my boyfriend to be-able to understand what has happened to me, for him to come to terms of understanding this situation. There is so much more to my story that it overwhelms me. Please help... Thank you for your time... God Bless you Lori